exhausted

after the rain, photo by alison, canon digital 350d

it couldn’t possibly be overdose of gardening! i only manage to do a few hours pass days, it rained almost every evening, but i’m EXHAUSTED! Went to bed early last night and slept through more than 12 hours! dragged my body up this mid-morning, had a light brunch, did my laundry and went back to bed and slept for another 2 hours. experiencing heart and chest pain pass week, and i know it’s much to do with emotional issue.

physical illness always comes together to a certain degree mental illness. it’s mental… then physical. though as much as i try to stay positive... i am human after all. i go through what others go through in life.

i acknowledge my pain, feeling its presence, and not blaming myself or others for having this discomfort. it’s just a process. i'm learning to let go of my ego, of expectation, of taking things to personal, even with my own emotions, of trying too hard to be a perfect person. what i know right now is that being imperfect at this moment is just perfect for me, then i can move along with a better perspective and understanding of myself, even though i have to learn the same lesson again and again. every time i fall, i get up just a little bit stronger, just a wee bit wiser.

so, i thank this pain that I’m going through.

ahh… rain has stopped, cool and fresh air wating for me... :)