which way?

monsoon rain & pink flower, photo by alison, canon 350d

today's affirmation:
i surrender

it's pretty amazing that my days are showered with so much goodness these days. even though i do not know many things, or what's up ahead, so far it has been a beautiful ride, but sometimes it scares me a little. will i make it as a healer? who would ever want such service? i have yet to have any real customers yet. maybe this is not "it", maybe i am suppose to be doing something else? photography maybe? or maybe this is all just a crazy ride of my life at this point? yes, i have my doubts and trepidation. yes, i have thoughts of not pursuing it, crawl back under the save covers of doing the normal work and just live by, like i used too. but, a part of me is curious, what if i follow this other path, that is filled with mysteries waiting to be discovered, what else that i am able to do? what else that i am able to offer, to serve? i do not want to be feeling the "what if" when i grow old. not knowing if i had taken the road less traveled, what my story would be like.

all too often we live in fear, fear of our own powers, fear of our limitless capabilities, possibilities.

i have that fear too.

right now, i need courage, i need strength to carry on this journey. the thought of going back to work is playing at the back of my head. just be "normal" alison.

it pops up in my head "surrender"

i guess the universe knows best. sometimes we just have to trust, that there is something so much greater than us that is working it's magic, sometimes we just have to let go of the ego and enjoy the moment. just surrender.