on assignment

morning cleanse, water, canon 350d

i am learning to mastering the moment

i have been going through an emotional tsunami lately. still learning to tai chi my way through. being judgemental of myself and what keeps coming up is a plethora of feelings from guilt, shame, worthlessness, anger, stressed, anxiety and a feeling of giving up.

i know that when these feelings show up, it is just another assignment from the universe. i have to keep reminding myself that whatever comes, i can handle it. everything will be ok. everything IS ok. i must learn to respond in a different manner, and by this i mean to learn to go to my heart and soul, listening to my higher guiding system and the gods. and not be a victim to my mind. i am learning to drop all the old pattern and believe systems that i have been holding on for years (and possibly lifetimes).

this is me being raw, i rarely expressed myself this way in this blog. the energy shifts are getting whoppingly intense, for me at least. so up and out comes whatever that needs to be addressed.

i will come out of this. i need to release all the deep seeded emotions, experience it all. most importantly, i am learning to love myself, of staying true to who i am. after shedding layers upon layers of self deceptions. it is time to ascend another rung towards wherever life is taking me.

on a lighter note:
dmoms asked what is teh tarik?
teh = tea (usually tea+milk), tarik = pull, so literally it means pulled tea, to get the froth and nice temperature. here's video (i love youtube!!)


oftentimes, it is prepared too sweet that one would cringe (i seldom drink tea), so one have to tell the person making tea to make it kurang (less) manis (sugar/sweet). most times i'll order mine kurang kurang kurang (less less less) manis (sugar/sweet)!