Monday, 2 January 2012
word of the year 2012 and miracles
bird of paradise reaching for the sky (moon).
my heart is bursting with gratitude right now and tears are flowing down my cheeks as i write this. what a start of 2012! a wonderful miracle!
i don't know where to begin as it has many layers and timelines. i'll do my best.
pass few weeks i have had the sudden urge to go for a meditation retreat. i texted a friend yesterday to ask if there're any retreats happening in january, she texted back saying there's one going on in KKB (kuala kubu baru), i said i can't go right now. she texted me again this morning inviting to join her for a day of retreat at the same place, again i declined as i have made plans for the day.
ok. hold on to that part of the story and i will continue to join with this part later.
i have been feeling and thinking my word of the year 2012 for weeks and have been toying between "blessings" and "love". but it was more towards "blessings". and then today, 1 january 2012 as i was watering my plants and mulling over "stuff" and unresolved "issues", i had the moment. the moment where i made a resolute intention that i need to "let go" of the "issue" THIS year and the word "transcendence" just pop into my head.
"transcendence" is my word of the year 2012.
i wish to "let go" of this "issue" that i have been holding on for a while now. i wish to transcend all my limiting thoughts and belief. i will have to go through it and i want to come out on the other side clean, unburdened by it any longer. i have to learn to let go of all judgement, because it has caused so much unpleasantness. i know it is not my place to judge but habits do die hard, but not impossible. i keep telling myself no matter how long it takes to change this "distorted perception" of mine, i must do it.
there are many layers to the transcendence too, as i wish to transcend this "human" consciousness and just go beyond. enlightenment has always been another one of my aspiration. and what not this year being the end of the 26,000 planetary and galactic cycle and a major shift is underway, the energy is building up, it is (in my feeling) possible to transcend beyond this human ego. that we have held for so long. and i am tired and weary. i wish to end the cycle. this life.
i realized that this "issue" is or may be my ticket to "transcendence". it may happen or it may not but i have set my intention. enough is enough.
and again the thought of meditation retreat came to mind, and i thought of when i was in university, how i made an aspiration that i wished to go to burma (myanmar) to do a long retreat (3 months).
this evening i got another text from my friend, she said she is going to mandalay, burma (myanmar) next year (2013) for a retreat under the guidance of Sayalay Dipankara and she wants to (do dana) sponsor my flight ticket if i wish to go!!! all i could think of at that moment was "omg! omg! OMG!" and "unbelievable! unbelievable! unbelievable!" (i did not mention of my wish/aspiration to her before she offer the ticket).
it is a dream come true... again... for me. a dream that i made many years ago, a dream that i let go of, never thought it would materialized suddenly made manifest. i felt elated, not only because that this long lost dream suddenly made possible, and that someone would actually want to sponsor my air ticket??!! it's wild!!!
i am still beyond words of how i am feeling right now.
HAPPY NEW YEAR to you. thank you for being here and for reading this blog. i am truly grateful that you take the time to read and leave comments. may 2012 bring lots of love, joy and miracles into your life
* Sayalay means teacher and nun in burma.