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Saturday, 16 June 2012

time to face the fears

the truth is... right now...
i do not know who am i or what is next.
it feels like harry potter meeting professor dumbledore in "king's cross station". except that instead of meeting dumbledore... i am meeting myself.

******* few hours passed and i'm continuing this blog post.

i started writing this post with the intention of sharing my spiritual phase where i am now, and then wham! something happened and my calm and peacefulness shattered a thousand pieces. i will not share what happened, i'd like to keep some personal stuff, personal. but what i am feeling right now is fear, nervousness, worry.

so that is the truth... right now...
i have fear
i am nervous
i have knots in my stomach and throat
my heart is heavy

i am definitely meeting myself!

on the other hand,
i am ready
i am clear what to do
i'll face this challenge
i'll remember to breathe
i will take action based on love, truth, honesty

i may not have a magic wand or spells to face this incoming challenge, but strangely with all the fear and nervousness, somewhere deep down, there is a sense of groundedness, stillness and a knowing that what i'm about to do is best, it feels right. no matter what outcome it may bring.

i guess it's a spiritual post after all. external circumstances always bring about internal spiritual realization. that is how it is isn't it? if there are no challenges, we wouldn't know where we are on our spiritual path. now that i know where i am heading (in the very near future), the irony is that it's not going to be pleasant. onward! 


  1. "There is silence under the chaos"... This is one of my favorite quotes and I don't know who to credit, but I love it's simplicity.

    I have started a post about spirituality but I can never seem to get back to finishing it... still incubating... so thanks for sharing your personal thoughts, Alison. I'm pretty sure most of us can relate...

  2. Alison,
    You will be surprised at how strong you are when faced with challenges and other unpleasant situations. Whatever challenges your facing, they shall pass and peace and calm will return for you.

  3. patty: "There is silence under the chaos" read and heard about this too, don't know where from. looking forward to reading your spiritual post :)

    lydia: after going through it, yes, you are absolutely right about everything! :) thanks so much!


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